abit of confusiion... :T

ohk for two weeks i have been wondering, why humans seem to ruin friendships? why do we make the only people that seem to understand us, hate us? so i have totally stuffed things up with one of my close friends. i am not quite sure what i even did. he really has done stuff that made me angry, yet for some strange reason, i would forgive him, hopefully not because for i liked him for a smidgen. he is just as dorky and as lame as me. childish and immature...i had the best conversations with him. i never felt like an absolute idiot talking to him, more like...i had nothing to hide from...that i could just be me. now having not talked to him for 2 weeks, kinda shows me how much i miss him, our talks, how stupid i could be and know I'm not being judged. i guess that saying, "you never know how much you need them, til you lose them," is true. he meant the world to me. all i wanted to do was help him, help him through what he's going through. looks like i can't do that now. but i know he will always be in the back of my mind every single day, and i will always worried about him, as he is getting involved with the wrong people and going down a bad path. honestly everyday of these holidays i have spent at least an hour or two thinking if he's okay, if something bad has happened to him. it's frustrating because i can't ask him. things are gonna be extremely awkward as i will be seeing him 3 times a week...I'm not really looking forward to it. maybe he will forgive me for whatever i have done, like i forgave him for saying stupid, inconsiderate statements. who know, only time will tell.

last week of holidays. rather upset as i didn't do anything. as i predicted in previous blog posts. should have done some homework. meh...should have cleaned my room aswell. that may be completed tomorrow.

so here is my to-do list before school starts back up...

• dry school clothes
• try to do some homework
• clean/vaccuum/rearrange room
• clean other rooms in the house
• relax and have a good night sleep before first day back

I'm pretty sure that's all for tonight/this morning. btw my friend linked me to this singer on myspace, jeremy fowler(L) check him out and his his band.
myspace.com/jeremyfowlermusic
myspace.com/newempiresound
his/their songs (pretty sure most of his bands songs are written by him) have some deep, heartfelt, meaningful lyrics.