well the first week of school is over :D YAY! but argh homework... AND KNEW ENGLISH TEACHER!!! wtf? i liked my old one. she made english fun and i got it! now we have this old fart...meh.

OMG I REALLY HATE SPORT!!!
freaking ball was like smashed into my shins! FUCKING KILLED!! probs gonna have bruises in the morning.

serious for a minute tho. i am over being ignored...freaking gay friend totally ignored me when i was trying to apologise to him. wtf? he just sits there im there waiting for him to answer my question. 15 seconds later im like "are you gonna answer?" he turns his head and then turns back. that's just down right rude! i was thinking "should i or shouldn't i talk to him" for a whole hour. HOUR WASTED!!! gonna give up now. i don't want to. but he is just making it soo hard.

anyway. i heard an amazing quote today

"a lack of confidence is the heaviest anchor you can put on your heart"

its so true tho. so from now on, i am:

• going to be more confident within myself
• not going to let things weigh me down from doing things i want to do
• going to dive into thing and not be afraid
• enjoy life more
  
• embrace the fact that i have such loving and caring friends
• going to try to be less emotional about everything
• going to hold my head up high with pride and joy

casper the friendly ghost xD

i tell you being one of only 3 year 10's in your sport class absolutely sucks balls!!! especially when half of your grade is full of year 9 sluts and their gangster asshole guy friends. so i dont have much choice for friends in that class... but thats only one of my sport subjects. the other one i have my bestfriends in but unfortunately we have the "guys that think they are all that and hog the ball". ohwell what can you do?
i dont like playing sport on the oval, cause i know that my friends are in the classroom with tinted windows watching me. laughing at me running....but i am very proud of myself as i actually hit the ball, unlike the other slutty girls, and got 3 people out xD incredibly happy with myself.

I AM REALLY SCARED :S

i have an oral tomorrow that i know i am nowhere near ready to give. thing is tho, my teacher doesn't want us to actually plan what we are saying...HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO REMEMBER WHAT IM GOING TO SAY??? like i get frightened of talking infront of classes especially when i know i am being graded on what i am saying. i start stuttering and going red and forget what i am saying :S kinda weird as i kinda won this speech competition the whole year level had to do in year 7.

BAND CAMP!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!
going as a ghost :D white sheet with holes cut in it.

lazy yet genius...

cheerio for now :D

abit of confusiion... :T

ohk for two weeks i have been wondering, why humans seem to ruin friendships? why do we make the only people that seem to understand us, hate us? so i have totally stuffed things up with one of my close friends. i am not quite sure what i even did. he really has done stuff that made me angry, yet for some strange reason, i would forgive him, hopefully not because for i liked him for a smidgen. he is just as dorky and as lame as me. childish and immature...i had the best conversations with him. i never felt like an absolute idiot talking to him, more like...i had nothing to hide from...that i could just be me. now having not talked to him for 2 weeks, kinda shows me how much i miss him, our talks, how stupid i could be and know I'm not being judged. i guess that saying, "you never know how much you need them, til you lose them," is true. he meant the world to me. all i wanted to do was help him, help him through what he's going through. looks like i can't do that now. but i know he will always be in the back of my mind every single day, and i will always worried about him, as he is getting involved with the wrong people and going down a bad path. honestly everyday of these holidays i have spent at least an hour or two thinking if he's okay, if something bad has happened to him. it's frustrating because i can't ask him. things are gonna be extremely awkward as i will be seeing him 3 times a week...I'm not really looking forward to it. maybe he will forgive me for whatever i have done, like i forgave him for saying stupid, inconsiderate statements. who know, only time will tell.

last week of holidays. rather upset as i didn't do anything. as i predicted in previous blog posts. should have done some homework. meh...should have cleaned my room aswell. that may be completed tomorrow.

so here is my to-do list before school starts back up...

• dry school clothes
• try to do some homework
• clean/vaccuum/rearrange room
• clean other rooms in the house
• relax and have a good night sleep before first day back

I'm pretty sure that's all for tonight/this morning. btw my friend linked me to this singer on myspace, jeremy fowler(L) check him out and his his band.
myspace.com/jeremyfowlermusic
myspace.com/newempiresound
his/their songs (pretty sure most of his bands songs are written by him) have some deep, heartfelt, meaningful lyrics.